Where My Heaven's At
by Willatreetwin
Summary: What can I say? She's gone. Forever lost from this world, never to see her glowing smile again. She thought no one needed her; no one wanted her in the remotest way possible. Didn't she know that I did? Rated T for suicide.


**I know. I'm an awful human being. What's it been, two, three months? I'm so sorry, guys, we all know what school's like. If you guys really knew me in real life, you would know it's not the easiest thing for me. I've never had much experience with this whole "liking someone" thing. I'm an alien, I know. I've been playing with this idea for awhile, tossing it around, so I figure I've got nothing else to do, so I'll give it a try I guess. You guys know the drill, I own nothing of the likes of which I am about to write likewise in the characters and the overall wonderful world of Kingdom Keepers. **

**Philby's POV**

What can I say? She's gone. Forever lost from this world, never to see her glowing smile again. She thought no one needed her; no one wanted her in the remotest way possible. Didn't she know that I did? I would die, wait, that's not an appropriate term for this, this…let's call it a situation. Didn't she know that I would do anything to have her know how I really feel? I was quite obvious, but she was oblivious like that, which I found adorable.

But if I'm honest with myself, I should've seen it coming. I went to school with her; I should've noticed any sort of sign. She was herself in her last week, nothing like it. She came to school, talked to no one, not in class before or after. Not at lunch and not when she was walking home. Of course, being oblivious myself, I thought nothing of it.

She said she had this box, it was a metaphorical term, and it held all of her doubts, fears, regrets, concerns. She "used" it so that she could have a more positive outlook, so the people around her would always be happy.

And then it collapsed.

She had too much hiding behind her beautiful face, and she never shared it. She let it boil slowly inside of her, thinking that it would all just go away. Why didn't she just tell me? I would've spilled it all. How I felt about her, what my real life was like, because I never really shared anything either, I wasn't ever open to anyone.

I hope she can at least see me now. Know what I'm thinking, know that I care.

My mom let me stay home the week following her death. I was at the funeral along with the other Keepers. It was one of the worst days of my life. I had to say good bye to not only my best friend, but my one and only love.

I was, however forced into going the following week where the girls flocked to me more so than usual, can you spell annoying?

"Philby, it must be tragic that your girlfriend killed herself."

"She wasn't my girlfriend." I grumbled as I weaved my way away from the obnoxious popular brats.

Curse the stupid British accent.

"Well, you must be devastated," They all seemed to have the same manipulative grin on their face. "You want me to make you feel better? Of course you do! So I was thinking that we could go out to that amazing restaurant up town..." They would always keep going but I never listened.

They never ended. I swear they just never did. I'm not exaggerating. They all knew I liked Willa and after a while of her saving me time after time from the snobby blondes hanging around my locker wanting to go out, they gave up. Man, do I miss those days. Now they don't have her "in their way".

Day after day, time after time, I would push through the crowds, slamming doors in their faces, telling to leave me alone, whatever it took to make them flee. I will never get over Willa, and they are capable of getting over me. It's quite easy actually, I don't get why anyone would like me in the first place.

Every night since her death I lay awake at night wondering. Pondering what would happen if it were me. What would happen if it never occurred? I guess I never would learn not to take for granted what I have, but she's all I ever wanted. What do I take for granted now? There's no point in a lesson if it took from me my only source of relation to it. Why did the universe put me in this burden!

I think back. What was our last conversation? Was it peaceful? Were we fighting? Gosh, I hope we weren't fighting. I'll never be able to forgive myself. Even worse, don't make it be a sign she made obvious to me.

I pull out my phone. I haven't touched it since the night she died. I remember texting her that night. I've just been too jumbled in the moment to remember what we said. I turn the phone on and wait for the media scan to connect itself.

A new text appeared on the screen.

Her face, her name, all the identification that came up with a message staring back at me, reading the last text she would ever send me, send to anyone probably. A text I never read since she left this world, a text that finally gave me a glimmer of hope in making it through.

It was a sign, a sign that if I had gone to bed ten minutes later, I would've been there to save her. At least now, in this instance, it gives me the truth.

**Willa: I love you.**

A mix of emotions really, I could've saved her if I saw it, but at least I know. Anger yet relief overwhelm me, but I control it.

I look up at my ceiling, but I know she's listening, even if we're trapped within two different realms, that of life and death, I can feel it; I know she can hear me.

"I love too, Willa. More than anything in this world and the one you are in now. I love you."

And it was true. I would do anything to get her back. I'd just do anything…

My phone started to buzz, another incoming text, this one from today.

**Finn: Hey buddy, how u holdin up? The crew's gonna meet up 2nite in Cinderella apartment 2 talk bout it. U in?**

At least I would have the guys to talk about it with. We all mourned in our separate directions. No one wanted to talk about it. We all saw so much of her in each other. She was a part of all of us. A part none of felt like letting go of, ever.

**Philby: Cross over in 10**

I woke up on the wet grass right outside the train station. It was raining all day. It was kind of funny. We had gotten rain since the day she died. The whole world missed her, of course it did. Every aspect was dreary without her. Nothing lit up the same. Nothing could without her in it.

I kicked the pebbles leading up to the castle. Even the castle looked wrong. It wasn't magical anymore. I miss her too much. Is this getting unhealthy?

The same old route, dreadful, the room was empty, and nothing but that. Empty, done with everything, nothing was promising to anything in the room anymore. Nothing was worth anything. She was my every joy and absolutely nothing less. Empty was the perfect description for this room. Empty was a perfect description for me.

Finn and Maybeck spilled in a few minutes later, followed by a miserable Amanda, Jess, and Charlene. None of them seemed as hollow, as blank; none of them seemed as empty as me.

We all lay down on the balcony floor, no need for furniture. We look up to the stars. It's beautiful out there tonight, purely breathtaking. Why does everything remind me of her?

After awhile, Charlie breaks the looming silence.

"Do you think she's watching us?" she asks.

"No doubt about it." And I believe it while saying it.

We were all depressed. It was a collective aroma. No doubt in that. We all lay there, searching for answers. Why?

Maybeck laughed a little. "I got a test back today. I did pretty well on it, considering the circumstances. I got everything right, and the teacher would've taken off points if it were anyone else."

"What did you do, ding dong?" Charlene nudged him with her arm.

He laughed a little more. It was an innocent laugh. One he doesn't use very much. Not a mock, or a burst, but more thoughtful, more sensitive. I liked it a lot more. He didn't seem like an 'ego maniac jerk but still a good friend' kind of guy. It sounded like the real Maybeck. Everyone seemed to like it better, as we all looked attentively at him.

"She pulled me to the front of class at the bell after she passed the other tests out. She told me that if anyone else had done it, that they would be suspended or expelled for what they did. I wrote her name at the top of the paper. She said she knew all the Kingdom Keepers stuff from her kids, she knew we were friends. Right there, I can't believe I did it without even realizing it. I just miss the kid so much. She shouldn't have gone this early. She didn't deserve to go ever. She was too good to everyone." He started to choke up.

Charlie started to cry too. "She was my best friend." She mumbled into Maybeck's chest.

"She was a friend to everyone." Amanda added.

"She was everyone's little sister." Finn complimented.

"She was always the brightest thing in the room; she let you see when you didn't know where to go, when you were blind." Jess uplifted.

"Blind," I added. "That's all I ever was towards her," I looked to my friends, my family, surrounding me, waiting for me to preach out to her. "That night, we were talking and I went to bed ten minutes too early. Then she gave the biggest sign of them all. She admitted her biggest secret. She stated it so simply. That she loved me. The last thing I'll ever here from her. I was too clouded and blinded by fear to save her. I was blinded and I couldn't save her. I don't have anything else. She was where my heaven's at, my safe haven, where I could never, ever, feel bad. You all know how I actually felt. I was obvious enough. I loved her to every end of this world. I loved her beyond it. There was no explaining it. There still is. I love her no matter how many worlds tear us apart."

I didn't choke up. I didn't cough on my words. The tears just poured. A river of opportunity gone, I will never in this world get to feel her smile again, her soft, calm, caring words bouncing around the room lighting me up. I say to all of you, go for you love now. If you're like me, you may never get a chance to be with that one person. You know who it is. That one person that lights your world when you can't see through the sea of blackness, that one person that's so perfect, even if they aren't, but they still are to you. That one person you're thinking of now. The one you always are, aren't you? You would do anything for them, right? I suggest that you do it now, or when it's okay. Give them their space, let them be free, but while you have them in your life, do what you feel that you need. That if you can never see them again, you would at least be satisfied with where you ended. That that important point you need them to know was made. That something that needed to come across did. Let them know the truth, before they can't.

Everyone had tears. That was a pretty emotional speech, even for me.

I looked up to them, Amanda and Finn hugging, Charlene and Maybeck also. Jess sat next to me.

"I'm sorry," she muffled through her tears, "She loved you the same way. I've seen her look at you. I've seen her eyes light up at sleepovers when we talk about you. She couldn't ever stop thinking about you. You were her biggest motivator. You kept her going after the car crash. After her dad died, she pushed hard to get through."

I couldn't help but smile. "You know you have to Dillard, right?"

She bit back a smile and started to laugh. "Oh, don't worry about that. Two sentences into your little speech, I decided I was going to." She laughed.

We all, as a group, united by our friendship and our pain, we all walked out of there, down the keep, and onto Main Street, USA, together.

Bonded stronger for and because of Willa, and I know she likes that, I know she likes that a lot.

And since her death, for a moment everything was close to perfect.

Then that moment ended.

A horrible cackle filled the air with fear, regret, hopelessness, and the overall color brown. Everything tumbled down on me, bit by bit. Everything toppled. And so I broke. I let them consume. I shall spare the bloody and gruesome details, but we all know Maleficent and her fireballs.

She only got to me before Amanda got her with the pen.

Maybeck scooped me up; I was too lifeless and limp to get up myself. He set me down in the flower patch in front of the train station, where I first crossed over.

Everyone rushed over, trying to help, but they all knew it was no use.

I could see the tears in all of their eyes and I could feel them in mine knowing that it was my final farewell to the best family of them all.

"I guess this is good bye for now" I say weakly as the rest of them burst in to tears.

"Hey," I muffle out, "We all know I would've been too heartbroken at one point and go because of it. Don't worry; I'll see you guys before you know it."

"You're going to see Willa!" Jess tries to fight through the tears.

"Yep, and you're going to be with Dillard." I try to make them happy.

"You don't know that…" She tries to fight it.

"Uh, yes I do, he's just as obvious as you are."

She giggled as I started to cough hard. We did a group hug as we said our goodbyes.

"You're the best family I could ask for, guys. I can't thank you enough. You've all taught me so much, beyond what's filled in my head , all those facts and theories and such, they aren't anything compared to what you've all taught me about friendship. Don't you guys ever split, stay strong. Say hi to Maleficent for Willa and I. Followed by her eternal extinction. Wills and I can take care of her sorry butt in the next world," this got a collective smile. I saw my DHI start to fade into darkness. "I love you all, and I'll tell Willa you all say hi."

And those were my last words.

A flood of tears were shed, but they knew I would once again be with who I love.

And guess what? I was.

I started to wake up. It felt like I was on a cloud, it felt funny. It was nice and warm and quite breathtaking, and I hadn't even opened my eyes yet.

A voice comes.

"Hey, doofus. What kind of block was that? You were the easiest target in the world. You're kidding me, right? Maleficent had you easier than Jess got Dillard, or Finn got Amanda, or Maybeck winning over Charlene. I have no words, just wow." I could feel her smiling.

I was never this happy when I had life, I can tell you that much.

I don't even know why I asked, I knew who it was, but it was more of an involuntary action.

"Willa?"

**I'm crying. I'm so sorry if you are. I can't stop smiling either. Tell me what you think. Do we hate it? Do we like it? Love it? I haven't done a one-shot yet, so is this a good first one? Is it a horrible one? What did you like? What would you change? You have the power, I write it for you! What do you want out of me? Probably another pairing, sorry I just love these two badly. It's like an obsession, I'm crazy. We're under a month until Ridley concludes it. I've got way too many emotions right now. I hope the rumors are lies. I hope he brings back the characters. Who knows? Maybe we, as the readers, will write out the keeper's lives for the whole world to see? I've been playing around with that. What do you guys want? Characters or Disney? I was torn at first, but I'm too dedicated to these characters. Have a magical day guys!**


End file.
